My feeling in Rhodes

I’m very happy that I selected Kokkini Porta Rossa as my hotel because I feel very at home here. I feel peaceful and blissful. I could sit in the windy and cool courtyard for hours and without feeling bored. I just idle my day away without doing anything. All I want to do is just enjoy the tranquility and coolness of the place. It allowed me to regain my balance in life and get rid of any negative feelings that I might still harbour in me. This trip has been great so far as I’m finally able to understand how to appreciate being surrounded by new people and not feel lonely. Nikon and Angela have become fast friends and I think I will continue to stay in touch with them as I don’t only enjoy their company but also like them personally. They have interesting tales to tell and from them and their experiences I have gained other insights into life. 

I don’t feel the need to fill my life with acitivities or people anymore. Although I had my birthday dinner by myself, I didn’t feel alone or lonely. I actually felt good and actually enjoyed a quiet delicious dinner at Marco Polo. But of course, Angela wouldn’t allowed that hence she told the owner of the restaurant it was my birthday and they sang me happy birthday song and gave me complimentary dessert.

For the 1st time among all my birthday trips, I never wish to celebrate my birthday with someone special. I used to wish I have a man in my life to celebrate my birthday with me, but this year such a thought vanished. I felt really happy and contented spending time by myself. I felt complete and fulfilled which I never thought it was possible 😀. I know that mentally I have reached a new breakthrough as well as emotionally.

I learned my own actual self-worth and how to be contented with life little pleasures such as idling my time away doing nothing, but sitting in the lovely , breezy and peaceful courtyard for a few hours and don’t feel bored or tired or the pressure to go out for site visits. Btw, the tree is 200 years old 😀!

And I’m so so so happ that finally, my heart is healed and I have forgiven myself for all the mistakes I made in the past. My urged to write to him one last time via letter had gone and although he does popped into mind occasionally it passed by quickly too. It was a flitting thought about him and I’m fine with it. After all, he had contributed in partly shaping me into who I have become today – a better version of my old self as I learned and understand myself deeper discovered new facets about my feelings and emotions. 

It was a great decision to spend my birthday in Rhodes. I have finally set myself free from my own misgivings 😊😉. I’m happy, contented and pleased with myself and everything I have achieved thus far in life from the bottom of my heart! 

Photoshoot in Lindos, Rhodes (Greece)  on 13 August 2017

Yesterday morning I woke up at 7am to go to Lindos, which is located about 45mins from Old Town for a photoshoot. I decided to hire the photographer to help me to do the photoshoot so that I can capture the beauty of Lindos and make my trip to Rhodes a memorable one. It was also as a birthday present to myself. Beside I haven’t done an outdoor photoshoot without make up until yesterday morning. It was an interesting experienced. 

So let me give a round down of the entire journey. I was picked up at 8am from the hotel by my photographer, Magdalene, in her small Hyundai car with her 3 young children (pretty and handsome) and her partner. They squeezed themselves into the backseat and let me had the front seat instead. We chatted through the entire journey and she told me a bit more about herself. She is a Pilates and got into photography about 8 years ago. She has an upcoming exhibition showcasing her art pieces together with 2 more local artists. Magdalene is nice and friendly.

We arrived at Lindos around 9am and the sun started to heat up. The walked up to the acropolis was becoming a bit of a struggle as it was sloppy, slippery and not to forget it was scorching hot! Along the way up, we stopped and took some pictures of the town just to warm me up. It was so hot that I felt tired easily and almost regretted my decision for doing a shoot at Lindos. I had been warned the temperature was 5 degree hotter than Old Town and less windy too. 

Anyway, I was glad I chose this location as the view from the top of Acropolis were stunning. As shown in my photos below.


You can see the back of my photographer from my sunglasses. And you can also see how sunny and hot it was! Seriously, it wasn’t an easy photoshoot. Now I began to understand how models feel when they have to do outdoor photoshoot especially under the hot sun and intense heat! Mind you mine shoot lasted1.5 hours and I wanted to give up already. I was so tired that I decided to leave Lindos 2.5 hours early than schedules. I just wanted to go back to the hotel to shower, rest and grabbed a nap. So I asked the owner, Nikos, to rearrange the taxi pickup to noon instead.

But it was definitely a memorable, fun and interesting experienced. Now I’m looking forward to my photos. Magdalene said she will email to me by Wednesday morning. Praying that it turns out great as I didn’t put in any make up, not even any foundation and loose powder. This photoshoot is definitely very different from my previous 2 photoshoots. Will definitely post those  photos after I have received it. Provided I look great! Hahaha

Rhodes, Greece – 10 August 2017 (1st day)

Flew in from Athens on 10th morning to Rhodes. Was picked up from the airport by a transfer that I had arranged online from the recommendation of the hotel owner, Nikos. It was a 45 mins flight and 15 mins waiting time for my luggage to appear. As I walked out the exit, saw my name and walked up to the driver. The 1st question he asked me was am I traveling alone. And I said yes. The 2nd question from him was “Why?” My replied was “why not?” 

We walked toward the car and I thought it was going to be a normal car, but when he pressed the unlocked to a Mercedes I was surprised. Really didn’t expect it. I paid 36€ for the ride, not sure is cheap or expensive, but happy to get transfer by a Mercedes 😁. It was a 20min drive from the airport to the hotel I have booked. It is located inside the Old Town of Rhodes, which is designated as a World Heritage city by Unesco. No cars are allowed inside the old town unless with special permit. There is a guard manning the entrance. And I could understand why because the width was not only very narrow but the wall is full of history. And honestly I’m glad that they impose the restriction. 

As I stepped into the quaint and cozy hotel, I felt welcome, cozy and homey. I fell in love with their decor and the warmth shown by the owners. They are really a nice couple who runs this boutique hotel as a hobby and passion. I didn’t only feel it but I could experience it in their actions. I feel very well taken care of! The husband, Nikos, suggested thins I should do, places to eat and etc to the details. They spend time to get to know their guests and actually spend time daily to interact with their guests. I could see and sense it in demeanours that they actually love and enjoy what they are doing. Is their passion to run and own the business becaue managing a hotel isn’t easy! Harder than running a restaurant! 

I will share some photos of the place and you can see for yourself.  I love my room except the fact that I need to climb the stars every time I need to use the bathroom! Arrggghh…….my own fault. I should picked a different room, but nevertheless still a nice and comfy room. Below are some photos of my room and the boutique hotel compound – Kokkini Porta Rossa.

This will be my homes for the next 6 nights. After checking in and shown to the room by the owner itself, I had a short rest before I headed out for lunch at 1 of the local restaurant recommended by Nikos, the hotel owner. It was about 5-7 mins walk from the hotel and near to the main square in Old Town.

Had pork chop. Tasty, but a bit dry. The portion was big too so couldn’t finish it. After lunch, I walked around the square, stumbled upon the Street of Knights (see the photos with the long cobblestones lane). Some of the buildings have been restored and used by authorised personnel such as archaeologist and  administrators of the properties. 

The sun was super duper hot! After an hour or so, I couldn’t take the heat anymore and beside those shops around the square were boring so I decided to head back to the hotel to chil and relax in the lovely and tranquil garden. And there was where I glued my butts for the next few hours, drank wine, read my e-book and enjoyed the cool breeze. It was really blissful. Didn’t go our for lunch as was feeling really full from the late lunch. So just had some fruits – grapes and plum that were in my room. Went to bed around midnight and that was how I spent my 1st night in Rhodes 😀!

Today my birthday

Today I turned 42. As I looked at myself in the mirro this morning, I did notice some signs of aging on my face. Sucks! Have to spend more money on products again. Haha.

As I checked my phone after I woke up, saw birthday wishes from my family, friends, clients and even my connections from LinkedIn. Oh ya, even people whose I haven’t seen or heard from in ages also wished me. But the biggest surprised of all was from Dino. He wished me yesterday morning (got my date off by 1 day), which wasn’t too bad. I didn’t expect him to actually remember as he never did in the past. So it was a pleasant surprised 😀.

And another surprised was waiting for me when I went down for breakfast. Angela, the owner she brought in a small cake for me to blow the candle and a few of the guests were also present hence they sang birthday song for me and wished me well and all the best. I appreciate their gesture and friendliness, but I really want to spend this birthday quietly. Angela has booked a popular and good restaurant, Marco Polo,  for my dinner tonight and I asked her to gently inform the owner to please not sing any bday song for me in public as I really don’t want to keep saying thanks for the bday wish from strangers 😊! Seriously, this year I want a quiet affair. I’m not being emotional or feeling shitty, contrary, I’m feeling damn great. 

I have finally understand that loneliness is just a state of mind. I learned to say no without feeling guilty, I don’t apologise unless it is necessary, I speak my mind without fear of repercussion and I don’t feel the desire to impress and please anyone anymore. I have to admit and say that I have finally understand my own worth and how to see the value of myself true my own eyes and not someone else. Is liberating. I’m following my own path and it doesn’t matter if people don’t understand because it is my life and no one else. 

For instance everyone I met asked what had I done or where had I visited in Rhodes s far? I told them I didn’t d much because I really don’t feel like doing much. I didn’t plan my itinerary and I will just do whatever I feel like doing when I wake up. Beside honestly there is nothing much to do in Rhodes, at least things I will be interested to do. Shopping sucks, which is a good thing as it allows me to save some cash. Haha.

Night life wise, I’m not crazy as I can get that in KL anytime. Sightseeing, well almost the same as I had been to a few islands around Mediterranean Sea. My favourites still are Ibiza and Oia in Santorini! 

Turning 42 isn’t such a bad thing especially when I’m becoming wiser, truer and freer. So after a nice dinner t ignite, I will try to sleep early as I have booked myself a photoshoot with a local photographer for tomorrow morning. So have to look my best as this shoot is au natural. Meaning no make up at all. Not even any foundation or loose powder to cover up my freckles face. It is another form of nakedness I’m doing. This time it is th nakedness of my face. It is also a test of how comfortable I’m with myself, my look and in my own skin! I’m praying hard that the photos won’t turn out too bad as I have to pay $450 for a 100 mins of shooting. 

I’m looking forward to it as I wonder which of my moods the photographer will be able to capture through her lense 😀! Ok ciao for now…..

P.s. my 1st bday cake this morning. Didn’t try it as it is way too early to eat cake! To be honest it is quite fun to spend birthday with people I just met as they add more colours to my life.

Sparkling wine and lovely gift from the owners of the hotel – Angela n Nikos! They are really making my stay in Rhodes a memorable one. Not because of the gift, but of the ways they are going their best to make me feel comfortable and at home. Beside I have learned a lot more about them and via Nikos I heard  a lot of interesting stories about their guests! Loving every minute of my holiday! 

Freedom

What is FREEDOM to you? Is it not having to worry about money?? Or is it the ability to say what you think and do what you want? I think all of us view freedom differently, but yet all of us share the same desire to have freedom.

Freedom isn’t free! Contrary to the word itself, freedom comes with a price tag. We have to sacrifice something, be it money or our time, in exchange for our freedom. None of us will enjoy 100% freedom as we tend to bound ourselves to different type of commitments that will curtail our freedom. But some of us are much lucky as we enjoy more freedom than others.

For myself, I enjoy great freedom in many aspects and I will share why I’m so lucky. Firstly, I don’t care about what people say or think of me. Hence it gives me the freedom to live the life I want without fear of repercussions. I live my life at my own terms and conditions and I can modify along the way as I deem fit to suit my lifestyle. Because I don’t care about other people opinions and views of me, I can be MYSELF. The professional and personal me is the same. I don’t wear mask, unlike most people. Hence it is a trait admire by most people.

Secondly, I have the financial freedom to choose the quality of life I want to live and enjoy. I don’t have a lot of money and I do have loans commitment (like majority of the people, but I’m still able to support myself and travels when I feel like it. I still stay in 4-5 stars hotels/resorts, do my shopping and eat any food I want (not a big eater or a foodie so doesn’t cost much for me to eat. haha). I haven’t have a steady income for more than 3 years and I lost a fair bit of money in my investments (beer & restaurant businesses. not to mention got stuck with lousy asset in Ipoh that is causing me to burn a hole in my bank account with the loan instalment I have to pay. Bleeding me dry soon. haha), but yet I didn’t need to sacrifice much for my quality of life. So not too bad.

Thirdly, I’m able to choose my work and career choice. I don’t have to force myself to work for people to earn a steady income because of my financial freedom. I don’t need to force myself to get up at 7am to get to work daily and do reporting or paperworks. This is the freedom that majority of the people crave for and I’m bless to be able to have it. Not only I’m able to do what I love, I also get to choose the deals I want to work on. Simply put I don’t work for money. I work on a deal/project because I know I will learn new things and I get to work with people who are like minded like me, friendly and professional. I want to work on a deal/project that not only adds more zeroes in my bank account, but also able to feed my brain and my soul. In simple words, I can’t be bought by money. Of course I love to be rewarded by money, but it is not the pinnacle of the reward for me.

Fourthly, I’m single hence I have the freedom to do whatever I please without having to seek another person “ok” or make compromises in my decisions or have to consider the other person feelings/thoughts/views. I can go where I want/love and do what I like/love. Of course there will be people out there who would say I’m selfish and lonely (which I admit I feel occasionally), but I don’t care what they say/think because without freedom it is like living without air. I have witnessed too many relationship failures/dramas and seriously makes me think thrice about sacrificing my freedom in exchange for a full-time lover. I will only seriously consider being in a relationship if my freedom isn’t curtailed and the compromised I have to make will not affect me too drastically or greatly. Otherwise, I think I might just opt to have fuck buddy or casual relationship.

I don’t need a man to support me financially or emotionally. I just want a man to satisfy me physically when I want it so why buy a tree when I can have the forest 😜?? Anyway, in short, freedom to me is the ability to choose the life I want both professionally and personally. And so far I’m lucky and bless to be able to enjoy freedom in both areas of my life.

I wish everyone will soon be able to achieve their own FREEDOM too. Happy Tuesday peeps!

 

 

 

Don’t Feel Stupid For Loving The Wrong Person

I copied the whole article I came across on Thought Catalog as it described my feeling and thinking to a T. There were times I did everything described as below. It wasn’t something I wanted to think and feel, but unfortunately sometimes my mind was still trying to find answers to all the whys that are still bothering me. Honestly, I’m still trying to learn to forgive myself for my stupidity for trusting a man who turned out to be untrustworthy (I’m not going to start ranting and writing about the man anymore).

Anyway, when I came across this article I just knew I have to share and post it on my blog to remind me that I shouldn’t feel stupid at all. Is easier said than done, but I’m learning to stop beating myself up for my stupidity and blind trust in a man whom I loved much more than I ever admitted to him.

“You look back and you just feel stupid.
You can’t forgive yourself for falling
or believing all the lies.
You reread every text.
You relive every memory.
And it all starts making sense —
he never wanted love.
He only wanted attention.
He only wanted validation.
He only wanted you
when she didn’t want him.
And you thought he was different,
you thought he won’t lie to you,
you thought that he’d be so dumb
to lie to you out of everyone else.
Because you’ve always been the one
who talked to him about fairytales.
You’ve always been the one
who told him you can’t stand his games.
But he lied to you anyway,
because he could,
because that’s who he is.
He broke your heart and
didn’t lose sleep over it
because that’s who he is,
he’s selfish and self-absorbed.
He doesn’t understand fragile hearts.
He doesn’t understand you.
He doesn’t understand love.
But don’t feel stupid for loving him,
for it’s never stupid to love.
And it’s never dumb to believe.
It’s not wrong to fall,
what’s wrong is letting guys like him
spoil your idea of love.
Because really the only thing stupid here
is the fact that he let you go.
but you — you are brave and smart,
and your heart is magnanimous”

Rania Naim is a poet and author of the new book All The Words I Should Have Said, 

Upcoming B’day trip- Rhodes, Greece

Looking forward to my upcoming 1 week birthday getaway to Rhodes Island in Greece. I always want to go to other Greek islands hence I decided to spend my upcoming birthday on August 12 in Rhodes. I will be flying off on the 9th August to Athens, stay a night in Sofitel and on the 10th will fly to Rhodes. I booked a small boutique hotel operated by a couple and so far the owner was very prompt in replying my emails. He even gave me a 25% discount when I told him I was going to celebrate my birthday there. Is kinda cool.

And when I asked him for airport pick up service, he told me he doesn’t provides that service but referred me to a taxi operator who can pick me up from the airport and bring me to the door steps of the hotel. I wrote to the taxi operator and he responded within 24 hours. I was impressed with their prompt response and helpfulness.

I haven’t plan my daily itinerary during my stay in Rhodes as I intend to follow my heart and do whatever I feel like when I wake up each day. I might not do much on a particular day except for just wandering around aimlessly or drinking wine and reading a good book or people watching. I really don’t feel like I have to do a lot of activities to keep myself busy or my trip worthwhile. I want to just follow my heart desires and see where it takes me each day.

I want to be a different type of tourist rather than the typical type where it is compulsory to visit the local attractions and take photos to show that I have been there and done that. I want to try a different travel style and see how it makes me feel. 2017 is a year of testing new approaches/styles/territories. Therefore, Rhodes will be my 1st new test ground for my new travel style.

I have a strong feeling that I will fully enjoy my own company and downtime during the 1 week stay in Rhodes. In the past, I felt that if I don’t have anyone to celebrate with me it means that no one loves me enough to care about my birthday. But I don’t think like that anymore especially after so much dramas I had to experience in 2016 I have a different outlook on spending time alone. I will take this opportunity to meet new people because it is always easier for solo traveler to meet new people than those travel with friends or family. I’m really looking forward to this upcoming birthday break.

The hotel I will be staying in is called Kokkini Porta Rossa, which is located inside the Old Town and I was informed that taxi needs permit to enter the Old Town. I’m very instructed to explore and I believe it is safe for me to venture out at night too. There is also a New Town so there will be plenty to do. In fact the hotel owner suggested to me to take a day trip to nearby islands. And I might even attempt to drive around the island. If I do that it will be my 1st time driving on the left hand side of the road and in a foreign country. It should be fun. Haha.

Anyway, another 2.5 weeks more to go before my birthday adventure starts. Can’t wait 😁