1 year ago I wrote a post titled “Loneliness exists in all of us” and today I want to write a post answering my own above question?
I will be lying if I say I don’t crave to have a suitable partner in my life to share my ups and downs, my happiness and sadness and my life journey with. But at the same time I also understand how it feels to be alone and yet not feel lonely vs with someone and yet feel lonely.
I think the later is the worst feeling one can ever feel because when we are with someone that person is supposed to make us feel less lonely and fill the hole in our heart and life, but yet when we aren’t with the right person we don’t get the connection and without the right connection and chemistry it is pointless and useless to be with that person. And to make thing worst sometime we are stuck with the person for whatever reason and we have to endure the feeling of loneliness.
I don’t want to put myself through the above situation I just described because I had experienced it before (at least 3x) and it was the worst feeling ever. My brain started to play trick on me and made me emotional. I cried and longed for companionship. I asked myself what was wronged with me that I’m still single and shouldering all the problems in my life by myself. I hate feeling so weak, vulnerable and needy. But it didn’t last long as I usually refund fairly quickly from my emotional meltdown.
Although I still feel lonely occasionally, but no emotional meltdown anymore. Reason being is because I understand the differences between singled and lonely vs being in a relationship and lonely. Once I understand how I feel in these 2 situations, instead of feeling lonely I feel appreciative that I’m single and having the freedom to do whatever I want in my life.
I don’t filled all my time with activities to keep the loneliness at bay. Instead, I embraced the feeling and let it ride it out itself. Usually it didn’t last long. Maybe because my super positive thinking and attitude helps me to overcome the feeling of loneliness. And also I heard too many unhappy marriage/relationship stories from friends hence I value my single life even more.
If I have to tolerate unhappiness so that I won’t feel lonely, I will choose to feel lonely than being unhappy. I tasted both before and I choose loneliness is because if such a feeling hits me I can still call up my dad and friends to whine to them or share with them my happiness. But unhappiness, I can’t share and it is harder to shake it off. At least for me.
So to sum up this post, yes I do feel lonely once a blue moon, but it wasn’t enough to make me desperately looking and wanting a man. Once bitten, twice shy best describes my current feeling and view of relationship at this moment.
Just a gentle reminder…..is ok to feel lonely. But is not ok to live in it permanently. Enjoy the life you are given by god with or without a partner in your life. Just go with the flow and see where your life journey takes you too. Always remember that having a partner doesn’t guarantee that you won’t feel lonely anymore. Always keep that in mind and you will know how to handle the next time the feeling of loneliness hits you again 😉!