Xavier

I mentioned about Xavier in my previous posts, but not in details. I’m going to write about him in this post. I have been chatting with Xavier for a few months and met him about 5 weeks ago. He is a nice and good guy. Sometimes our chats were fun but sometimes it were boring. He had taught me a fair bit about airline practices and flying. He had shared a lot of funny tales about his work and people he works with. He had shown me some very amazing and stunning pictures he took from the cockpit. I was able to see the world through his photos.

I like him, but the connection isn’t there yet. He doesn’t knows much about me as he doesn’t really asks me questions and I didn’t feel like volunteering. Not sure why he doesn’t asks and I didn’t bother asking him why too. He did asked me if I want to go holiday with him and I didn’t say yes or no. I’m still considering his suggestion, but I’m not leaning towards a yes as I really don’t feel any chemistry with him. Hence I’m taking things slow. I don’t want to mislead him into thinking I like him in a romantic way when I aren’t. I want to spend a bit more time to get to know him and see if we can build the chemistry or not. I don’t mind hanging out with him when he is in KL, but it won’t be anything physical because he doesn’t appeals to me physically (at least not yet).

His dad is diagnosed with cancer hence he has been busy taking his dad to hospital and spending time with his family so we aren’t chatting that much for the last few weeks. I’m ok with it as I understand how stressful it is for him and his family. He loves his dad a lot. A filial son. Do I miss him during this time? Hmmmm………..maybe a bit as I was so used to him chatting with me almost daily, sending pics of himself and updating me what he was doing or going to do. But last few weeks it stopped after his dad condition isn’t great. He did apologised for lack of communication and I’m actually cool with it.

Anyway, I’m not in a hurry to start a relationship as I prefer having him a friend at this moment. I think I will just keep the status quo for now and keep my option open. I never know what god has in store for me. Maybe I will meet my Mr Right in August when I go to Rhodes, Greece for my birthday retreat 😉. I’m hopeful and I believe that when the time is right I will meet the man for me. I just need to have faith.

So for now I will just enjoy my friendship with Xavier.

p.s. I spent 8 hours, starting from 4pm to mid nite and yet I didn’t feel like kissing him. In fact, I was kinda irritated towards the end that he didn’t want to leave even though he was super tired and tipsy. Plus he had to fly the next day. At the end of the night, I just called him a Uber and asked the bodyguard to escort him to the lobby and into the Uber car while I continued to party with my friends at Arena. I spent 8 hours with a man (happy hour, dinner and followed by more drinking at Arena) and yet I didn’t want to kiss him at all just speaks volume about how attracted was he to me. I never had this problem with Peter Wittendorp. I didn’t want my nights with Peter to end at all. I wanted him to be with me as long and as much as possible.

I realised that I couldn’t open up to Xavier and share my thoughts and feelings with him like I did with Peter Wittendorp. I just feel that it will be tough for me to have a deep mental and emotional connection with Xavier. I tried my best to open up to him and share more about myself, but I just couldn’t. He gives me the feeling that it will be hard for us to click and connect on the same wavelength as I did with Peter Wittendorp. Anyway, I have decided not to put so much effort into trying with Xavier. Is either you have chemistry or you don’t. And I guess our chemistry will never be there. So will just leave it as it is and be friends.

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