Inside the plane and on the way back to KL. My short escape to Bali with my gf, Gin, ended today. Initially I wasn’t sure how would it be liked to go on holiday with her as my last experienced was more than a decade ago…..17-18 years ago when we worked in the same hotel in KL. There was where I met her and we grew close very fast. She was a nice and friendly person and she still is today, but I have a new found respect for her that never existed before. We had long and very open conversations about life, men, relationship and everything that crossed our mind. No judgment was passed between us. We talked like 2 old friends who are always in each other life rather than apart for so long. We laughed silly, we shopped, we drank cocktails and enjoyed each other company.
She got married when she was 26 years and been married for 15 years now with 2 daughters. She is not in love with her husband, but she isn’t miserable in the marriage. She described it as a comfortable marriage that are filled with familiarity and obligations. The passion in her marriage was long gone. They haven’t have sex since the birth of her youngest daughter so should be at least 8 years. A sexless marriage. I asked her why? She said she doesn’t wants her husband to touch her. I asked her doesn’t he has a need for it or want it. She said he is ok without the sex too. I asked her doesn’t she craves for sex and intimacy. She does but she doesn’t wants her husband to touch her. In fact her husband isn’t the touchy-feely type at all. She asked him to hug her and he said no. He doesn’t kiss her anymore and even when they are out they don’t hold hand anymore. I find it a tad sad as she was still young. Although she said she doesn’t mind and will stay in the marriage as her husband is a good guy, but I told her honestly I think she deserve to set herself and her husband free from the loveless and sexless marriage before she regrets a few years down the road when her daughters are older and don’t need her as much as now.
She admitted that she did think of running away before she walked down the aisle, but she didn’t. She married because she was influenced by her mum that she had to marry at certain age and etc since she was young. She admitted that if she had married later it would have been different. But maybe she is fated to be with her husband. I saw her husband pics and lets just say she could married better.
I told her about my various loverships, past and present. I told her about my sexual experienced and which man gave me the best orgasms. Hahahahaha. I told her about Peter Wittendorp and how he broke my heart including his accusations and the posts I wrote about him on my blogs and admitted to her I kinda miss him now. I showed her his pic and she commented he looks not bad. I didn’t feel sad when I told her the story about Peter Wittendorp and I anymore. Gin told me like all my friends had been telling me that 1 day I will not think and miss Peter anymore. I know I will.
Gin and I we talked a lot about everything and anything. I also told her about Chris, Ian and my other ex-lovers, part-time lovers and we had a good laughed about our sexual experienced, men cock sizes and bed skills. For me, Ian by far was the best ex-lover as his oral skills were just mind blowing and he never failed to give me multiple orgasms. Chris probably 2nd best. What about Peter then? Hmmmm………let’s just said I like the size of his dick, but he didn’t manage to give me multiple orgasms. I can go into details, but I choose not to not because I’m afraid to share with the world, it is just because I’m not ready to share the details yet. Maybe 1 day I will.
It felt great to be able to talk to Gin openly and honestly especially when we had not been in each other life much for more than a decade. If she didn’t initiated contact beginning of this year, this mini break might not had happened. I’m happy she reached out and stays in touch. I will not hesitate to go holidays with her again, but she can’t do it too often as she has a family to take care of especially her daughters. She did said that she will dedicate more time to herself and does things she likes and enjoys. She shared with me some health tips which I find it useful.
She also admitted to me she experienced postpartum depression, but it was a mild one so she recovered fairly quickly. This trip brought us closer to each other and I’m super happy and glad that our friendship has a new lease of life, but I gain another good friend that I can confide in. I’m lucky to have good friends that don’t pass judgement at all. Not that I care what they think of me, but is always nice to be able to talk without censoring my thoughts.
I mentioned I have a new found respect for her was because she dares to admit her weaknesses, such as low self-esteem, her wrong reason for getting married and etc. I can tell she is living her life as herself and not trying to put on a show for the world to approve. But her communication style with her husband and her kids is really unique. Haha.
Anyway, it was a fun trip with great time spent with a genuine friend who has always accepted me for me. She actually told me she was surprised that I have more patience now than before and that I’m an improving and growing individually. She admires the fact that I do self-evaluation and change things about myself that I don’t like. She said she doesn’t does that. I told her to give it a try. Change for herself but no one else.
This holiday with Gin had showed and reminded me that true friendship can stand the test of time no matter how long we hadn’t spoken or saw each other. A true friend will always be by our side and to be rediscovered when the time is right. I’m lucky to have genuine friends. I’m lucky to have good friends like Gin who knows the core me. Definitely a great holiday because I rebuild a friendship and regain a good friend for life.
Till my next holiday with Gin …….😁