You know, in the past I would have responded to any comments and retaliate back if someone does me wrong either in actions or words or both. But not anymore. I have changed and I don’t feel there is a need to react to anyone and everything. In fact the best response to a ludicrous situation/remark/comment/accusation is not to engage with the other person. Walking away from commenting or taking action is not only an act of maturity but also to show the other person that I will not stoop to this person lowly behaviour.
I’m proud of my self-control and my ability to shut out all the external noises. I have always admit that my life isn’t perfect, but at least it is an open life. I didn’t hide who I’m and I didn’t lie to someone with the intention of hurting that person. I had said it many times. If I want to write about someone, I will write it openly like what I have been doing in this blog of mine. If I have done something wrong, I will admit it liked I did when Peter Wittendorp asked me about the Pinterest incident. And yes, I still have a board with all pins dedicated to Peter Wittendorp and name after his name. I never hide it. I cursed and shamed him in my blog through the numerous posts I wrote about him. I can do more harm to his image if I want to, but I choose not to do so. Not because I’m afraid of him or the repercussion, but because I think is time for me to move on and heal my broken heart and mind.
I don’t want to relive the past again if I can control my mind from wandering down that path. 1 way is to block it and just focus on other important matters. There were a few rare moments where I wished I was still on talking terms with Peter Wittendorp and he was still in my life as my best friend, but such a thought didn’t last long. Why? Because it wouldn’t happen in this lifetime anymore and I don’t think I can look and think of him in the same way like I used to in the past. The trust between us was shattered and unable to be pieced together again.
Beside, he thinks I’m a crazy woman and I think of him as the biggest asshole, liar, hypocrite and cheater in the world. We both have so much negative thoughts and feelings of each other that it will keep us apart forever. Which is fine by me as. I did missed him once a blue moon as we had a lot of laughter and he did tolerated my tantrums and truly cared for me for a short period of time, but the hurt and pain he caused me will never be erased from my mind and heart. I could still remember his meanness, coldness and ugliness too well. I shuddered when I thought of those last few chats we had. Anyway, it was the past so I’m not going to bring it up again and repeat what I had wrote in the past in this post.
I don’t regret a single post that I had wrote about Peter Wittendorp because I only stated facts and truth. And I was expressing my feelings on how I felt about him at that time or anytime in my life. I’m not ashamed of my past with him, a married man. He was in my life for almost 10 years, from the day we met when he was still single and later got married. He had always waltzed back into my life in the last 10 years when I had cut him off and deleted him. If only I can post some of the emails he wrote to me in the past. My story with him was never a fantasy and every emails he sent to me, every words he wrote were never altered. It was from him.
Anyway, I will never be able to trust this man anymore in my life. In fact, I might never and will never know the real him. I have changed because of him. Good and bad I would say. I don’t have any wish at this moment except that he or anyone working for him doesn’t comes to disturb me and my inner peace. If I know any of his people directly or indirectly disturbing my peace, I will make sure that he doesn’t has any peace too. Don’t ignite a war especially when I’m walking away from all his craziness and dramas. I might have free time in my hand, but I don’t want to spend it dealing with his dramas and lunacy. So is best that he controls all his people and don’t let the dogs loose and start barking up the wrong tree. I will state it once and for all. I never ever did what he accused me of doing in the past, present or future.
I don’t give a shit if he believes me or not. I just want to be left alone and keep the insanity in his life far away from me. I don’t want to be dragged into the mud again so don’t stir anything up and stop bullying me. Appreciate it.
Like I said in the beginning of this post, the best response is not to response at all.