It had been a super duper long time I didn’t leave my phone in the safe in my room and it felt really good without it as I was able to finished reading my book for the past 5 hours! Yup finally I finished reading the book. Haha. I’m sitting at the hotel bar for the past 5 hours, fully enjoyed and immersed myself in my own little world. I’m currently being surrounded by people and music, but I’m able to retreat into my own world and find peace within myself and my surrounding. I have learned to tune out any noises that don’t serve me at all and create my own solitude.
I wasn’t able to do that in the past as my mind couldn’t be still and I liked to overthink and overanalysed things and situations until it created unnecessary stress for myself. But not anymore. I have learned that I have no control over things and people. The only control I have are myself and my thoughts. I only need to be in control of myself and not other things, situations or people because it is pointeless and useless as I can never control external factors 😊!
I’m loving every minute of my Bali trip. For the 1st time since 2014, this holiday isn’t part of an escape from the emotional roller coaster Peter Wittendorp put me thru. I was edgy after Peter walked back into my life and was also needy and insecure as I wanted him to stay in my life and loved me that I was willing to compromise myself to keep him! I learned the hard way to never want a man until I was walking on egg shells around him frequently.
I also learned to cut people off whenever necessary. I dislike playing mind games and I learned that those who don’t reach out to me doesn’t miss my friendship hence I won’t bother reaching out as well especially if I have tried several times. I will only put in the same amount of effort as the other party unless they are people I value and treasure. Previously, I was always the one to initiate contact and suggested meet up, but I don’t want to do that anymore.
And if a guy promised to catch up but failed to do so, I will not hesitate to cut him off especially after I gave him 2-3 chances to redeem himself! I won’t allow men to put me thru anymore emotional roller coaster like I allowed Peter. I have learned to set boundaries and if the guy doesn’t respect my boundaries, I will not hesitate to cut him loose at all. I won’t tolerate shitty asshole actions. And I will not hesitate to call out the guy if I find his actions and behaviours are shitty. No more beating around the bush.
The new improved version of myself isn’t for everyone. I’m definitely not everyone glass of red wine 😛😛!! And is ok because I only want to be friends with people who will accept me for me and also don’t play mind games!! I hate mind games BIG TIME!! Waste of time and energy!
Anyway, I’m looking forward to test the new ME in 2017. I’m mentally prepare to loose a few people in my life who won’t like the new improved version of ME 😝! I can’t please everyone and I don’t want to please everyone!
Will update the reactions of my friends and clients of how well they are able to accept the NEW ME. An experiment and a test! Hehe