I miss Chris but I can’t pinpoint exactly why I miss him. Haha. Definitely not the I love him type of miss him. Probably more like I miss a good friend kinda missing. I used to find him fascinating and interesting, but not anymore. I don’t find him mysterious anymore and it doesn’t pique my interests to find out more about him. I’m sure there are still a lot more about him that I have yet to know, but I don’t feel like digging further to find out. If he wants to tell me without me trying to dig it out from him, I will be happy to hear what he has to share and in the process getting to know him better. But if he prefers not to share, I won’t ask unless I think it is something important that I think I should know. Otherwise I will not ask.
He isn’t that difficult to understand or figure out. I’m very certain he has a few skeletons in the closet that no one knows about just like everyone of us. Do I have any skeleton hiding and lurking around in the closet and waiting to be exposed 😝? Haha…….I’m not telling.
Chris to me is like an old friend more than a lover. I don’t need to know every single details about an old friend because not everything concerns me, nor do I want to be concerned by it! The ways I treat a friend and a lover are different 😜! Yes, in the beginning I wanted Chris to be my lover, but after seeing him and spending time with him I changed my mind. I didn’t feel a longing for him like I used to feel for Peter Wittendorp. I enjoyed Chris’s company, but I don’t feel much chemistry. There were sparks, but more like friendship sparks than romantic sparks. Haha.
Do I wish to have romantic sparks with Chris? Hmmmm……..I don’t think so. He doesn’t arouse me physically as much as Peter. Mentally Chris is compatible and he also has a wicked sense of humour that just made me laughed so hard 😂😂! And he loved to give me hugs, which I enjoyed tremendously. I loved the feeling of his arms circling my small waist and hugging me tight against his body. He has a very warm body hence he transferred his body heat to me. And that was why it felt so good to snuggle up to him. The downside was he snored. I don’t remember if Peter snored, but I do remember that his body twitched when he was asleep as I felt it sleeping next to Peter. I told him the next day and he said he didn’t realise at all.
Am I jumping to conclusion too soon about my feeling for Chris? Hmmmm………I don’t think so, but I will leave a small window of possibility to change my mind in case I’m wrong about my feeling for Chris in the future 😜! But as of now, I don’t feel attracted to him romantically although I miss chatting with him. Or maybe the real person I miss isn’t Chris, but I didn’t want to admit it hence I focus all my attention on Chris and making myself miss him instead.
Anyway, Chris have been extremely busy since he flew back to Dubai. Between work, family and friends, he doesn’t has as much time as before to chat with me. Maybe that also added to the reasons why I miss him. Couple with the fact that I have too much free time on my hand to think stupidly. Hahaha.
Oh well….I’m sure the missing him mood will be gone soon. Nowadays I’m becoming very good in blocking off unwanted negative thoughts and feelings so that I will stay positive at all times. So far my success rate is around 90%, which isn’t bad at all. Haha.
Ok, enough confession about me missing Chris. Till the next post….Ciao