“………there’s also all the other facets that I find equally amazing too. It’s like Christmas and you get a present within a present within a present 😊“. Chris words to me this evening. I felt happy that he managed to see and find so many facets of me amazing, but at the same time I felt it might just be sweet words to make me happy and not sincere. I know, I know…..I have a serious trust issue. I know I’m an amazing woman and I know he didn’t just said it to make me feel good and happy, but yet I couldn’t help doubting his words.
My last experienced with Peter seriously changed my views on men and turned me into a less trusting person. Now words are just words without any concrete actions to back it up. I believe in consistent actions and not words anymore unless it is uttered by someone I know very well and has consistently shown me he/she is reliable and honest. Even if Chris meant it from the bottom of his heart, I still have trouble trusting him. I trusted Peter without a doubt and looked what happened to me in the end. I learnt my lesson and I’m not going to repeat the same mistake. I want to trust Chris, but it is still a long way to go before I can fully trust him. I just want to protect myself from being hurt again.
So for now I will just enjoy all the sweet words and compliments Chris said to me when I read or hear it. It will not stay in my mind even though I know I’m amazing 😂😝🙈!! He also told me he will be busy this evening hence he won’t be able to reply my messages until much later in the night. I was surprised when I read that because it was totally unexpected especially when I told him to take the space he needs to do whatever he needs to do and come back to me when he is free and in the same mind frame as me. Never once did I complaint about him taking too long to reply. In the beginning I did said jokingly he always went rogue on me, but for the past 2 weeks I didn’t said it anymore as I have decided to let him be and just goes with the flow.
Men are funny creature. When you didn’t expect them to update you, they would. When you want them to update you, they won’t 🙈! Anyway, it did made me happy when I read that because he didn’t need to. So I thanked him for informing me. I appreciated the thought from him. We have been chatting almost daily for about 5 weeks now. I’m wondering if we can still continue our daily chat without getting bored with each other or running out of topics to talk about. Oh well, I’m not going to let my mind wander into the future and the unknown because then it will create unnecessary stress.
I don’t need unnecessary stress at the moment because I already have a lot of other issues to stress about. What I need now is just enjoy Chris because I don’t know when we will be bored with each other? So enjoy while he still plays a role in my life. Hehe.
Ok that’s all for this post. Until the next one!