Guest vs Permanent Resident in our Life

Can anyone of you guess what I’m going to write about in this post :-)???

I’m going to write about the people in our life whom we can categorise into two categories – Guest or Permanent Resident.

Let me start off with Permanent Resident. The definition of permanent resident means people who will be in our life no matter what happens. Parents, siblings, and kids. People who have direct blood relationship with us. No matter what happens, this category of people will always be in our life and will never leave. They will be there for us thru thick and thin. They will stand by us when we need them. They are our past, present and future!! Hence, they are the permanent residents :-)! Is easier to understand so I won’t explain too much about it.

Guest means people who might stay in our life for a period of time only. Such as friends, co-workers, business partners, girlfriends, boyfriends, wife and husband. People who have no direct blood relationship with us at all!! I think by now my readers will have raise their eyebrows wondering why do I categorise wife/husband into this guest category.

Let me explain why. Your spouse is a guest because you cannot guarantee that you will still be married to them tomorrow, the next year or the next decade. Who can say for sure that divorce will not take place?? Who can say for sure that your spouse won’t die young? If your spouse is gone, won’t you be looking for a new one to replace them?? Let’s face it, everyone needs to have a companion in his/her life no matter how independent or strong he/she is. Hence, your spouse is just a guest because a guest is replaceable when his/her time in your life is up. Is a fact!  Like it or not.

And your spouse is also a guest because you invited he/she to come into your life in the first place. You extended the invitation to him/her. Without your invitation he/she is not even a guest at all. So as your guest, you have the right to ask him/her to vacate the spot if having he/she in your life is making you miserable. Allowing them to hold on to the spot means denying yourself to invite another better guest to take up the spot. Again no one can guarantee that the new guest will makes you happy, but at least you give yourself a chance to have another shot at happiness if the old guest failed to do so for you. Oh ya, your spouse doesn’t has any blood ties to you, only to your kids. Hence, your spouse is a permanent resident to your kids, but not you.

Never ever sacrifice your own happiness and health for a guest because it isn’t worth it. If a guest robs you of your happiness and health, he/she robs the essence of life from you. A permanent resident can do that to you, but not a guest. Never a guest!! I will not allow any guest to do that to me. My happiness, my destiny and I control it.

I know I sounded cold and even callous, but I’m just being honest and blunt with my thoughts. You don’t need to agree with me. But if you are truthful and honest to yourself, you will see my views and points. I’m not trying to break people up. I’m just trying to share with you guys that when a relationship or marriage has to end, it isn’t the end of the world. You don’t need to feel bad or depress or unhappy if you choose to look at their departure from a positive angle – as a guest!

But if you prefer to allow he/she to rob the essence of your life from you, it is also your choice. Your GUEST, Your CHOICE!

So next time when your relationship doesn’t works out for you, don’t be sad because there is always the next guest waiting in line. You just need to give him/her a chance. Never say no to your next date with the good looking men or women :-)! Hahaha!


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