When a man is really into a woman, you will know. When he isn’t you will know too. Deep down we always know, but we women just choose to ignore the obvious especially when we are attracted to a particular man. We come up with excuses and reasons on his behalf and we choose to accept his half baked excuse/reason because we want to continue to see him even though deep down we want to kick his ass for his missed date with us! The main reason we are doing that is because society told us we are loser if we don’t have a man in our life. There is something wrong with us if we can’t keep a man interests in us! We are brought up in a society that without a man a woman is incomplete.
We will be labelled as a spinster and other names that we women would like to avoid at all cost hence we hold on to toxic/incompatible/unavailable men/relationship like our life is depending on the man to survive. We treat men like they are a buoy in an open ocean, to keep us a float and safe! But let us be honest with ourselves, do our men really keep us safe and sound by being present in our life??
I am very certain the answer is NO for at least 80% of the women in the world. I could be wronged as there is no study on this subject. I’m doing my own guessing only hence don’t take my words for it. So what’s my point? My point is we have to learn to stop ignoring the red flags and start to accept the fact that when a man isn’t into us, he isn’t into us and not chase him until we get him.
If a man is truly into a woman, he will do anything and everything to see her. Even if she says no, he will be persistent and insistent until the woman agrees. But if a man isn’t into a woman, he will constantly break his promises and only see the woman when he feels like it with nothing else better to do. The woman becomes a back up. We should never be a back up to a man! We should always be a priority before and after we are with a man!
I’m writing from a place of first hand experienced. Just as recent as 2 days ago, I met a French guy in Bali. His name is Michael. Well traveled, worldly, successful, independent, tall and attractive looking with sarcastic sense of humour. He joined me and my gf to celebrate my birthday with me so we had a threesome dinner at Metis Bali (pictures below).
I didn’t exactly invite him as I was planning to have dinner with my gf, Valentina only, but she was running late and I mentioned to him in our chat and he offered to accompany me. I accepted since we had made plan to meet up for drinks after my dinner so now we just met earlier. Beside I didn’t want to sit alone to wait for my gf as I didn’t know how late she will be.
I reached 1st and he was slightly late due to traffic. We chatted about our travel experienced and personal life a bit. He told me he has been single for 3 years. He is currently living in Paris, but planning to move back to SEA as he used to live and work in Singapore for 4 years and he still has an apt in SG that he rented it out currently.
Long story short, 3 of us had a great time together and we left around 1am separately. When I got back to my room, I sent him a message to thank him for a lovely evening and left it at that. He replied back the same and we started chatting on whatsapp for another 1 hour and ended with a loose plan to meet up the next day and spent sometime at the pool. And guessed what happened? No sign of him the entire day and not even a single message at all. I played it cool and I just sent him 2 messages to ask casually if he was still coming, but no replied from him until evening where he said he was bogged down with his accommodation issues. It took him whole day to resolve it.
He didn’t bring up about the missed date or apologised for not turning up and I didn’t bring it up too as I didn’t want to make a big fuss out of it. We just chatted for a bit more and that was it. No further messages from him and definitely no plan to meet up again.
I was feeling sligtly upset because he told me we were 100% aligned and he would love to spend time with me after the dinner and I believed him. But then apparently he changed his mind after he woke up the next day. Which was fine if he would just dropped me a message to tell me that. I did liked him and thought I would get a chance to get to know him better and vice versa.
Anyway, what I wanted to share is that from his action it was cleared he wasn’t interested to spend time with me, but he led me to believe he was. Or maybe he was and he changed his mind the next day. But whatever was the reason, I shouldn’t let myself felt be upset by him. After all, he was a stranger to me. I should had just not formed an expectation, but I did. Simply because I liked him and I thought he liked me too. At least his words made me believed he did!
So to all the women out there, a man action speaks a thousand unspoken words. Rely on the actions rather than the words! This experienced plus with the one Peter gave me, I’m not going to trust men words/promises anymore but rather evaluate a man based on his action rather than words! This way I won’t be misled anymore!
Anyhow I still had a good birthday celebration in Bali and he added a 4.5 hours of company to me so it was interesting and memorable. Short lived, but it was still fun 😀😉! For that I thanked Michael for appearing in my life briefly and made my birthday a fun one!
So I failed to be still hence I messaged Michael to ask if he wants to join me for drinks and dinner at Mamasan later tonight. I also added that if he wants to unfriend me he can does so without any hard feelings from my end. I told him I enjoyed his company and would like to be friend with him but if he doesn’t share the same thought I fully understand and wished him a good trip to Taiwan. After Bali, he is going to Taiwan for 8 days.
And guess what was his replied. First he apologised for MIA yesterday and his reason was he wasn’t feeling well especially after dealing with idiots the whole day yesterday. Then he proceeded to say he would love to see me tonight however he is too exhausted from lack of sleep last night so he has to give it a pass with a sad face emoticon. He said he will pass out if he leaves the villa!
I find his excuses amusing and burst out laughing 😂😂! I mean seriously, those excuses were just lame. I would respect more if he was brutally honest and told me he didn’t want to hangout with me. I was so brutally upfront with him that I’m ok if he wants to unfriend me so I won’t feel offended if he told me he didn’t want to hangout rather than let me down gently with lame excuses. Men just don’t understand that women actually prefer brutal honesty than crappy lies. It will hurt our ego to be rejected, but then we will just get over it and move on. But feeding us with lame excuses or even lies make us feel stupid!
Smart and confident women don’t like to feel stupid! Period! We can handle let down and we just appreciate people especially men who have the balls to be direct and upfront with us. At least for me I prefer such men. Anyway, nothing to lose on my end. Just didn’t get to spend more time with him. I was toying with the idea of a Bali Fling. 🙊🙉😂!
Oh well….like I said earlier, he wasn’t as into me as he said he was (will share our whatsapp chat in separate post). Actions speak louder than words!