Keeping Promises = Trust

Dated: 27.9.14

 

Until today, Peter still doesn’t gets it that the main reason I want him to come to KL is because I want to be able to continue to trust him. He thinks that I want him here is just to spend time with me, which is also what I want and it is as important as keeping his words. Up until today I still trust everything he told me. Even though occasionally there will be doubts, but I still choose to trust him because I believe he is genuine and sincere.

But when he keeps breaking his promises to me, it is really hard for me to continue to trust him blindly even though I want to. It is just hard!! It is so freaking important to me that I can continue to trust him because once the trust is gone, friendship will fail.

For me, showing me he is a man of his words is the ultimate prize because it means he is trustworthy and dependable. Him spending time with me is the bonus. What’s the point of having the bonus when the prize is not available. How to convey my thoughts to him without him telling me I’m pressuring him???

Or maybe (an over used word by him) even if he listens, he might still not understand or he might pretend not to understand. I don’t know. I really don’t know how did we ended up in this confusing stage. I thought we agreed from the beginning that we would listen and be honest to each other and had an open communication, but not anymore.

Lately he kept telling me that I couldn’t said this and that. He said if I kept doing that I would chase him away. Did he stand from my point of view (as a friend) that I might also stay away from him because I don’t trust him anymore???

When he was in a good mood, he would be the sweetest guy. But when he was stressed out, he would tell me that I pressured him!!!! From the day he walked back into my life (Jan 6), I was never the one to ask him when he is coming to KL. He was the one who gave me an indicative date or time frame and failed to show up. I told him from the beginning that he will never change his modus operandi and he said it will be different this time around and I trust him!! Yes, there were some changes, but keeping his promise to come to KL is definitely not one of it.

He asked me to speak my mind and tell him anything I want and when I did that, he would lectured me about pressuring me. I seriously don’t know what he wants from me???? Tell or not to tell. Very frustrating.

Why can’t Peter Wittendorp just keep his promise to me??? Just keeping 1 promise. That’s all I’m asking!!!!!!!!

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