I forgive you Peter Wittendorp

Peter, I forgive you for all the pain and hurt you caused me.

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Peter, I forgive you for all the pain and hurt you caused me. I forgive you for lying and accusing me. I forgive you for being a class A jerk towards me for the past 2 years. I forgive you for putting me thru emotional roller coasters and made me fell in love and cared for you. I forgive you for all the mean and harsh words you said to me. I forgive you for making me believed that we were good friends for life and that you respected me and that you genuinely cared and loved me. I forgive you although you don’t deserve it. I forgive you because holding holding on to resentment hurts me.

This time is for real that I can finally forgive you. I don’t feel an aversion to your name, Peter, anymore. When I thought about you, I no longer feel upset or happy. My feelings are neutral. Finally, I feel peace within myself. When I looked at your pictures that you sent to me in the past, I don’t miss you anymore. When I read our old SMSes, I don’t feel anything anymore. The memories are still there, but it isn’t affecting my mood anymore. I could tell my good friends what happened between us in the last 2 years, from the day you walked back into my life on Jan 6, 2014 and until April 12, 2016 without feeling sad and tearing up anymore. I don’t want this bitterness sitting captive in my heart.

I stopped looking for answers and trying to understand why you accused me although I still couldn’t understand why you lied to me. But it doesn’t matter anymore. What you think of me isn’t important anymore because you are just a stranger now and therefore, your view of me is irrelevant. And I shouldn’t be so upset, mad and sad over a stranger’s views. Irregardless, I have no regrets. Because of you, I learned a lot about myself, about relationship and friendship. It was a valuable lesson although it ended uglily. Forgiving you means I can stop beating myself up for being a fool and let go of my anger. I know in your mind you definitely think you don’t need my forgiveness. But I need to forgive you not because of you, but for me. Forgiving you means I’m letting down my ego. It means that I have come to terms with the pain you have caused me.

Last, but not least, I’m sorry for calling you a prick and said that you are a terrible man. I feel bad for my meanness. I shouldn’t allowed my emotions to get the better of me, but it did.

From the bottom of my heart, I wish you a good life Peter Wittendorp.

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