Recently I found out that he loves me instead of just likes me a lot. I was surprised and happy, but extremely sad at the same time. Why? Because we couldn’t be together anymore. Our timing suck. We have fate on our side, but we didn’t have timing on our side. He told me that he wished we had met earlier. Anyway, life is always full of bad timing, missed opportunities and etc.
Well I accepted the fact that we had to end it, but I couldn’t help wishing that we could be together longer, especially when we had so much laughter when we were together in HK. There were so many 1st time for him as well as for me. We made each other laughed so much and it was all silly and childish actions we did. It took us 15 months of daily communication to build the deep connection between us and in between we went thru many roller coaster rides, but somehow we always ended up back in each other life. It wasn’t just physical attraction, but also the mental and emotional connections that we share even until today. Which is really rare. We have known each other for 9 years and in between those years we lost touched, but when we got back in touch we could picked up where we left off easily without any awkwardness. He enjoys teasing me and bantering with me over silly things and we always ended up laughing until my jaw hurts.
And I do love him. I know he still loves me even though we agree not to be lover anymore, but just good friend. Honestly, I was caught off guard when he said he loves me and uttered it a few times during our conversations and messages. Knowing him so well, he didn’t just said it for the sake of making me happy, but rather sharing with me his most honest feeling for me. For that, I’m grateful and happy.
He told me I will always have a spot in his heart no matter what happened and even if we are no longer together one day. I believe him because he puts up with me quite a fair bit. Actually he tolerated me even though he complained I drove him up the walls constantly with my actions. Hahaha!1 But he always returned to be tortured by me. And same goes for me too.
Oh ya, after HK, he actually asked me if we could be lover forever while he was in Japan. I told him we couldn’t because we will die. And then he replied for as long as we still like and love each other. I really wish we have better timing.
But since we couldn’t, the best way for me to deal with his love for me is to go with the flow and let’s fate run its own course. If we are meant to be together, we will. If not, then not. What we had and still have is unique to both of us only.
Only time will tell………and it doesn’t matter what roles he plays in my life as long as I know I always have a spot in his mind and his heart. No one or time can take that away from me. He will always be my favourite alien.
Without fate, we wouldn’t had met and ended up in each other life. But with fate, timing needs to be right as well. Our timing is just so off key now to continue to be lover.