Freedom

What is FREEDOM to you? Is it not having to worry about money?? Or is it the ability to say what you think and do what you want? I think all of us view freedom differently, but yet all of us share the same desire to have freedom.

Freedom isn’t free! Contrary to the word itself, freedom comes with a price tag. We have to sacrifice something, be it money or our time, in exchange for our freedom. None of us will enjoy 100% freedom as we tend to bound ourselves to different type of commitments that will curtail our freedom. But some of us are much lucky as we enjoy more freedom than others.

For myself, I enjoy great freedom in many aspects and I will share why I’m so lucky. Firstly, I don’t care about what people say or think of me. Hence it gives me the freedom to live the life I want without fear of repercussions. I live my life at my own terms and conditions and I can modify along the way as I deem fit to suit my lifestyle. Because I don’t care about other people opinions and views of me, I can be MYSELF. The professional and personal me is the same. I don’t wear mask, unlike most people. Hence it is a trait admire by most people.

Secondly, I have the financial freedom to choose the quality of life I want to live and enjoy. I don’t have a lot of money and I do have loans commitment (like majority of the people, but I’m still able to support myself and travels when I feel like it. I still stay in 4-5 stars hotels/resorts, do my shopping and eat any food I want (not a big eater or a foodie so doesn’t cost much for me to eat. haha). I haven’t have a steady income for more than 3 years and I lost a fair bit of money in my investments (beer & restaurant businesses. not to mention got stuck with lousy asset in Ipoh that is causing me to burn a hole in my bank account with the loan instalment I have to pay. Bleeding me dry soon. haha), but yet I didn’t need to sacrifice much for my quality of life. So not too bad.

Thirdly, I’m able to choose my work and career choice. I don’t have to force myself to work for people to earn a steady income because of my financial freedom. I don’t need to force myself to get up at 7am to get to work daily and do reporting or paperworks. This is the freedom that majority of the people crave for and I’m bless to be able to have it. Not only I’m able to do what I love, I also get to choose the deals I want to work on. Simply put I don’t work for money. I work on a deal/project because I know I will learn new things and I get to work with people who are like minded like me, friendly and professional. I want to work on a deal/project that not only adds more zeroes in my bank account, but also able to feed my brain and my soul. In simple words, I can’t be bought by money. Of course I love to be rewarded by money, but it is not the pinnacle of the reward for me.

Fourthly, I’m single hence I have the freedom to do whatever I please without having to seek another person “ok” or make compromises in my decisions or have to consider the other person feelings/thoughts/views. I can go where I want/love and do what I like/love. Of course there will be people out there who would say I’m selfish and lonely (which I admit I feel occasionally), but I don’t care what they say/think because without freedom it is like living without air. I have witnessed too many relationship failures/dramas and seriously makes me think thrice about sacrificing my freedom in exchange for a full-time lover. I will only seriously consider being in a relationship if my freedom isn’t curtailed and the compromised I have to make will not affect me too drastically or greatly. Otherwise, I think I might just opt to have fuck buddy or casual relationship.

I don’t need a man to support me financially or emotionally. I just want a man to satisfy me physically when I want it so why buy a tree when I can have the forest 😜?? Anyway, in short, freedom to me is the ability to choose the life I want both professionally and personally. And so far I’m lucky and bless to be able to enjoy freedom in both areas of my life.

I wish everyone will soon be able to achieve their own FREEDOM too. Happy Tuesday peeps!

 

 

 

Don’t Feel Stupid For Loving The Wrong Person

I copied the whole article I came across on Thought Catalog as it described my feeling and thinking to a T. There were times I did everything described as below. It wasn’t something I wanted to think and feel, but unfortunately sometimes my mind was still trying to find answers to all the whys that are still bothering me. Honestly, I’m still trying to learn to forgive myself for my stupidity for trusting a man who turned out to be untrustworthy (I’m not going to start ranting and writing about the man anymore).

Anyway, when I came across this article I just knew I have to share and post it on my blog to remind me that I shouldn’t feel stupid at all. Is easier said than done, but I’m learning to stop beating myself up for my stupidity and blind trust in a man whom I loved much more than I ever admitted to him.

“You look back and you just feel stupid.
You can’t forgive yourself for falling
or believing all the lies.
You reread every text.
You relive every memory.
And it all starts making sense —
he never wanted love.
He only wanted attention.
He only wanted validation.
He only wanted you
when she didn’t want him.
And you thought he was different,
you thought he won’t lie to you,
you thought that he’d be so dumb
to lie to you out of everyone else.
Because you’ve always been the one
who talked to him about fairytales.
You’ve always been the one
who told him you can’t stand his games.
But he lied to you anyway,
because he could,
because that’s who he is.
He broke your heart and
didn’t lose sleep over it
because that’s who he is,
he’s selfish and self-absorbed.
He doesn’t understand fragile hearts.
He doesn’t understand you.
He doesn’t understand love.
But don’t feel stupid for loving him,
for it’s never stupid to love.
And it’s never dumb to believe.
It’s not wrong to fall,
what’s wrong is letting guys like him
spoil your idea of love.
Because really the only thing stupid here
is the fact that he let you go.
but you — you are brave and smart,
and your heart is magnanimous”

Rania Naim is a poet and author of the new book All The Words I Should Have Said, 

Upcoming B’day trip- Rhodes, Greece

Looking forward to my upcoming 1 week birthday getaway to Rhodes Island in Greece. I always want to go to other Greek islands hence I decided to spend my upcoming birthday on August 12 in Rhodes. I will be flying off on the 9th August to Athens, stay a night in Sofitel and on the 10th will fly to Rhodes. I booked a small boutique hotel operated by a couple and so far the owner was very prompt in replying my emails. He even gave me a 25% discount when I told him I was going to celebrate my birthday there. Is kinda cool.

And when I asked him for airport pick up service, he told me he doesn’t provides that service but referred me to a taxi operator who can pick me up from the airport and bring me to the door steps of the hotel. I wrote to the taxi operator and he responded within 24 hours. I was impressed with their prompt response and helpfulness.

I haven’t plan my daily itinerary during my stay in Rhodes as I intend to follow my heart and do whatever I feel like when I wake up each day. I might not do much on a particular day except for just wandering around aimlessly or drinking wine and reading a good book or people watching. I really don’t feel like I have to do a lot of activities to keep myself busy or my trip worthwhile. I want to just follow my heart desires and see where it takes me each day.

I want to be a different type of tourist rather than the typical type where it is compulsory to visit the local attractions and take photos to show that I have been there and done that. I want to try a different travel style and see how it makes me feel. 2017 is a year of testing new approaches/styles/territories. Therefore, Rhodes will be my 1st new test ground for my new travel style.

I have a strong feeling that I will fully enjoy my own company and downtime during the 1 week stay in Rhodes. In the past, I felt that if I don’t have anyone to celebrate with me it means that no one loves me enough to care about my birthday. But I don’t think like that anymore especially after so much dramas I had to experience in 2016 I have a different outlook on spending time alone. I will take this opportunity to meet new people because it is always easier for solo traveler to meet new people than those travel with friends or family. I’m really looking forward to this upcoming birthday break.

The hotel I will be staying in is called Kokkini Porta Rossa, which is located inside the Old Town and I was informed that taxi needs permit to enter the Old Town. I’m very instructed to explore and I believe it is safe for me to venture out at night too. There is also a New Town so there will be plenty to do. In fact the hotel owner suggested to me to take a day trip to nearby islands. And I might even attempt to drive around the island. If I do that it will be my 1st time driving on the left hand side of the road and in a foreign country. It should be fun. Haha.

Anyway, another 2.5 weeks more to go before my birthday adventure starts. Can’t wait 😁

 

Recent Photos of Me at Different Events

Attended 2 events this month. The 1st one was the opening of an art gallery in Menara Ken by the building owner’s himself on 7.7.17. There were private collection and featured of 2 artists too. I didn’t get to see all the art pieces so will plan to go back again before the exhibitions are over.

The 2nd event was X’mas Party in July organised by Moet on yesterday night  (22.7.17) at Arena Bar. It was full house and had great time playing beer pong with friends. Left about 1 am and crashed.

Below are a few photos taken at these 2 events.

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Porn

Recently, had an interesting conversation with a few clients. 1 of the topic we openly talked about was porn. I admitted to them I watch porn as I don’t find anything wrong with women watching porn. And seriously I don’t think there is anything wrong for men to watch porn too. Porn to me is just like any other entertainment. I watched porn because I was curious about the different sex styles between Asians and Westerners. And honestly, some of the porn clips were pretty funny especially the Japanese porn as the women moaning is so fake!! And they are bushy and hairy. I find it such a turn off when women don’t shave and keep it neat and smooth. Even for men is the same. I just find it such a turn off if I find a man bushy and hairy. I prefer a man who does trimming and keeping it tidy and clean. Hahaha! Yes, I’m not ashamed of talking about porn and sex. I couldn’t think of a reason why I should be ashamed to talk openly about porn and sex as it is part of life. Nothing is taboo or off limits to me.

During that discussion, there was another female client there. She’s a Singaporean and she never watch porn before. Honestly, I was kinda surprised she has never watch porn. She was surprised I did. Lol. Couldn’t blame because I think only a very small % of Asian women have actually watched porn and even rarer for them to admit that they watched it. I’m the exception to the rule 😂😂!

Seriously, I’m very open-minded and I don’t get offended easily. I have a very curious mind hence I like to explore and learn new things. Of course people would tell me that I don’t get to learn anything from watching porn, but not true for me. I did learned a few tricks 🤣🤣!

Anyway, my point is is ok for women to watch porn. Is even fun to watch it with your man and treat it as an entertainment. Of course I’m not saying is ok to watch it a few times a day because then it will be too excessive. But occasional watching can helps to spice up your sex life with your partner. If you haven’t try watching, give it a try before you chastise people who do watch porn. Keep an open mind about watching porn as long as it doesn’t turns into an obsession.

As for me, I will continue to watch as and when I feel like it. And I will even invite my lover (when I find one) to watch it with me to make our sex life more fun and exciting 😂😛! Life is too short for me to care about what society think of me. I want to experience and enjoy life at my own terms. Give it a try. If you watch it once and doesn’t like it, then you don’t have to watch it again. But at least give it a watch to find out for yourself how it make you feel.

Anyway, have a great Saturday night whatever you choose to do. Ciao

Vion – 1 of my best friend of 23 years

Just had a late lunch cum early dinner. Tonight going to attend a Moet party at Arena Bar. Tomorrow will be spending time with 1 of my best friend from Hong Kong, Vion. I have known her for 23 years already. We met in university. We both studied in HPU and during my stayed in Hawaii, she had been a great friend to me. I had a severe lower back pain at 20 years old and couldn’t sit, sleep ad stand without feeling a severe sharp pain. At that time Vion was working as a clerk in a chiropractor’s office. I called her in the middle of the night for helped and she came immediately. She brought the chiropractor with her and to help me to lessen my pain. I was all alone in Hawaii and she was the only friend who had car back then. Subsequently, she arranged for me to go to the chiropractor’s clinic to get treatments. It helped to lessen my lower back pain. I was told by the chiropractor that I had a mild sclerosis and until today I still experience lower back pain. Yoga helps, but if I stand or sit or walk too much, the sharp pain will hits me and makes me grumpy and helpless!

Anyway, coming back to Vion. She is the type of person who shoots her mouth and sometimes her words were very piercing and sarcastic. She speaks her mind and doesn’t gives a rat shit about what people think of her. I can talk to her about anything and everything. She is actually a very caring and nice person if you can accept her bluntness. She is even more blunt than me!!! Haha! Is true. I have accepted her for who she is and doesn’t get offended easily by the words that came out of her mouth. In fact, I can count on her to give me the un-sugarcoated version of things. She will exert her views even if I don’t ask for it 😀! I’m cool with her as overall she means well and just looking out for my best interests.

She always take the initiative to reach out to me by calling me when she hasn’t heard from me for a period of time. Usually we will speak 1-2 times a month just to catch up on life. She is street smart (typical HKger) and is doing fair well as a property agent in HK.

When we were both studying in Hawaii, she would called me up after my night class and asked if I had eaten. When I told her I hadn’t, she would drove to my condo in Waikiki Beach to take me out for dinner. I can still remember an incident where her car was tolled away by the authority because she parked next to the hydrant. We were panicked when we couldn’t find the car. Our 1st thought was it might had been stolen. But when we looked again at the spot she parked, we realised that it was most likely that it was tolled away by the authority. Haha. It was a lesson learnt not to park next to a hydrant.

I’m grateful to have her as my good friend. I told her everything about my life, the good, the bad, the ugly and the beautiful parts of my life journey. She will always be 1 of my best friend till the end of my life.

Well she has been in KL for more than 1 week, but because she has a fair bit of friends in KL so she only has time to catch up with me tomorrow. Beside, I was busy during weekdays with appointments and meetings so I’m cool to spend time with her tomorrow. I’m going to take her for tim-sum, follow by a site visit, some shopping and then dinner with my dad, stepmom and half sister. They met her before and Vion loves to chat with dad as she always says my dad is a funny man and also she has lots of respects for my dad because of his never gives up fighting spirit. My dad is a super positive man. I believe I inherited his positive thinking 😁!

Oh well, tomorrow night dinner will be full of laughter for sure. I’m actually looking forward to spending time with Vion as her brashness and bluntness are refreshing. But having said that, I have a limit of how many days I can enjoy her company. Not so much because of her, but more to do with myself. I have a need to shutdown and be by myself after spending long amount of time with people irregardless if they are my family or good friends. I just need my alone time to clear my mind and enjoy my own company. If I don’t get that I will become grumpy and irritated. Maybe is because I’m so used to my own company I can’t handle too much time being surrounded by people and noises.

So a day in her company is just perfect for me 😝😁. But now I have to stop here as I need to go and buy some groceries before heading home. Happy weekend everyone!!

 

9 hours drinking on 12.7.17

I’m feeling lethargic from drinking 2 nights in a row on Wednesday and Thursday. Wednesday was the worst as I started drinking at 4.30pm until 1.30am. Had a 2pm meeting that ended at 3.30pm, lingered around for 30mins to chat with developer before parting way and headed to happy hour with my clients for pre-celebration drinks as we managed to come to the agreement on all terms stated in the collaboration agreement. Hence all of us decided to have a few drinks to celebrate, but I didn’t expect a few drinks to last until 1.30am. A particular client of mine he loves dancing and he wanted to go Zeta Bar and I agreed. It was just the 2 of us. There was a live band playing, but it was sucks. The women were practically shouting out instead of singing and it hurt my ears.

We ordered  Hendrix and we finished about 2/3 of it (well at least 3-4 glasses were wasted) between the 2 of us. Earlier, we had 2 bottles among 6 of us so the drinking weren’t too overly crazy. Drinking 9 hours were just plain crazy as it was longer than normal working hours!! It was really tiring. Anyway, I told my client that was the 1st and the last time. Hahaha. But I have a feeling it will happen again 🤣!