21.6.18 – Daily Grind

Waiting for the technician to run the diagnostic on my car as I wrote in to VW to complain about the ABS pump which is faulty and I shouldn’t be paying for a new ABS pump as I don’t think that it is fair because it isn’t a normal wear and tear situation. I sent my car for regular services and the mileage on my car is less than 70,000 km for a 6 years old car so I feel the ABS pump faulty issue has nothing to do with the normal wear and tear so I wrote to VW to complain.

I must say they responded the next day to ask for further information and then the following day the technician from the workshop called me to ask me to bring my service book for them to make photocopy of my past serviced history and also to run a diagnostic check and so here I’m waiting in the workshop for them to do the necessary. I hope I will get a free replacement on the ABS pump. And I also asked them to help me wash my car as it is very dirty and I didn’t have time to send it for washing and vacuuming so since I’m in the workshop I might as well asked them to do it for me.

After here, I need to head to town to drop off my Rolex watch to my jeweller and then send about 10 pairs of my jeans to be altered. I want it to be cropped because I have too many long length jeans. Instead of buying new cropped jeans I might as well just take my existing ones and send it for alteration because most of jeans are never worn before.

Then I plan to go to office to get some work done, most likely to start putting together my presentation for the 2nd project and also work on the engagement letter for this new job. Not sure if the Tan Sri will accepts or not, but then again nothing to lose. Never try never know right!!

I haven’t been exercising for awhile except for my pilate because my rock climbing PT is holidaying in Europe and will only be back early July. And my the other PT (Dino), he seems to drop off from the earth since last Thursday he cancelled my class with him. Until today still haven’t hear from him and my WhatsApp messages to him also hasn’t go through yet. Sigh……I’m beginning to regret signing up with him. I hope he doesn’t absconded with the students pre-paid money. Why I’m having such a though is because of a notice they put up on FB – they are closed from last Saturday to this Sunday for maintenance due to unexpected issue. Well it could be just a coincident, but my gut feeling is telling me that it is because Dino isn’t around hence the studio is closed.

I hope he returns soon. There is nothing I can do but to wait and see until next week before I decide on my next step. I need to tone up my stomach and legs as well as build strength and endurance so that I have better stamina. I’m actually looking forward to start back my yoga practice with my ex-trainer because when she was teaching me I actually managed to lose 1 size and had a 4 packs. But now only 2 packs. Haha.

I’m still in the workshop waiting for them to wash my car. It was supposed to be done by 12 noon, but still haven’t. Hope to get out of here in 10mins time as I really have a lot of errands to run. OK…that’s all for this post for now. If anything interesting I will add on later. Ciao….

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Rolex watch

The last Rolex I owned as my jeweller managed to help me to sell it this afternoon for RM17,000. I used to own 4 Rolex watches, but I sold 2 of it about 10 years ago and another 1 I gave it to my step mum. This was the last one I owned and finally I managed to sell it. I haven’t wear this watch for about 10 years already and the condition is still very new because I had sent it for serviced polished previously.

 

If I wasn’t mistaken I think I bought it for around RM14,000 to RM16,000 in 2003. I wore it regularly for the initial 5 years but not anymore for the last 10 years. I put it on again this afternoon to see if it suits me before I decided to sell and it confirmed that I don’t want to wear this watch again. Hence I asked my jeweller to help me to sell it and within 30mins he got me an offer for RM17,000. My asking price was RM18,000, so the counter offer is fair hence I accepted it.

I’m going to drop it off to my jeweller tomorrow afternoon. I’m thinking of you using the money to buy a piece of jewellery – diamond bangle so I might not take the cash from my jeweller tomorrow, but leave the money there to pay for the diamond bangle that I’m interested to buy. Haven’t decide yet. Will decide by tomorrow.

Anyway……there are 2 more watches I want to sell because I rarely wear and I really don’t like the design anymore. If I can sell it successfully I will use the money to buy a new piece of watch that I really love – H.Moser & Cie. Fingers crossed and pray hard. Haha

Ok until then….

 

 

2nd thought about studying in US

Going back to US for my Master has always been my plan and it has never waiver until recently. I’m having 2nd thought because the discrimination situation in US is getting from bad to worse and there is not sign it will get better as long as Trump is in power. I choose US is because I used to live and study in Hawaii and I felt relatively safe during my 4 years stayed there. I like the diversity that US has to offer unlike Europe, although Americans aren’t the most civilise people in the world, but I still feel in US you can be successful if you work hard enough. Americans consume the most and anything that are  for sale.

But now with Trump in power and the discrimination stories as well as the rampant gun shooting incidents are seriously making me think twice about going to US for my Master. I’m thinking of Europe or Canada might be a good alternative to US. I feel like Trump is fuelling hatred among the different ethnicity. Life is short, hence I don’t want to study and live in a country where I will be treated as 3rd world citizen and being discriminated because I’m Asian. I’m seriously looking for alternative country to further my study and possibly to settle down as well.

I still have 2 more years to decide as I’m only planning to go back to graduate school in 2021 so I will decide when the time is nearer.

 

 

18.6.18 – Daily grind

Today is super slow and I’m super bored. Have a dinner with dad later to replace the Father’s day meal that we didn’t have yesterday. I woke up closer to 10am this morning and reached office around 11am. Went to bank in a cheque and have been in the office since. Managed to get some work done, but because the day is so slow my mind isn’t working too. I hate public holidays as it is disruptive for work productivity.

In the morning, I received a WhatsApp message from my restaurant buyer about an outstanding bill I have yet to settle. I had tried to call the company and person in charge numerous times, but never once received any reply. I tried calling again this morning and the same thing. Gosh, I hate the Malaysian customer service as it almost non-existent. I dropped the person in charge an email and I will wait and see how long it will takes him to reply to me.

I have finalised about 90% of my sub-master concept for the Developer as per the Founder’s request. I need to make a trip to the location to have a final feel of it before I send in my consultancy fee proposal for them to review and consider. Once they have agreed and signed back my consultancy engagement letter then I will present to them. I’m targeting mid-July to present.

This will be my 3rd creative, unique and interesting sub-concept for a township development. Usually, I will develop a master theme/concept and from there create 1 or multiple sub-concepts that are 1st of its kind. Sometime, I will just have a 1 master concept if the land size isn’t big to develop a township. I will charge a consultancy fee and depending on the project, if it is interesting I will also want to be appointed exclusive marketing, sales and leasing agent for the project. So far, the 1st 2 projects I’m the appointed consultant as well as the exclusive agent for marketing, sales and leasing.

But for this 3rd project, I’m only looking for consultancy work as residential development isn’t my cup of tea nor do I want to market it as the financial reward isn’t big enough to entice me.

My 3rd PT, he has been missing in action since last Thursday. He asked his staff to cancel our session and since then messages sent to him via WhatsApp didn’t go through yet. Only 1 tick. And then I read an announcement they made on FB that they are closed for 1 week starting last Saturday for unforeseen maintenance work to the place which I find it a bit weird as the place still looks good to me and fairly new. I hope everything is back to normal soon as I had paid for 10 PT sessions with him. I don’t want to go through the hassle to file a dispute with my bank for a refund for the unused sessions. Sigh……

I’m thinking of contacting my previous yoga teacher and see if she has time to teach me. I had a fallout with her about 2 years ago as she kept cancelling my time slots with her and I was really furious. And she kept complaining she charged me too cheap and I told her I don’t mind paying her the fair market rate if she can gives me the time slots I want, but she never reply and I let it go. I just dropped her a message via WhatsApp and I hope she will reply. She is really 1 of the better yoga teacher as she teaches with sincerity and under her teaching my flexibility improved a lot. Let’s see if she has time and want to teach me again. Haha.

Ok, that’s about sum up my day. I’m leaving the office at about 6.15pm to go and meet my dad for dinner. Till my next post…

p.s. My yoga teacher replied and she is ok to teach me again. Yay….but her charge is 30% higher now. But I think I can talk to her for special price for long-term or maybe ask her to give me a longer session. I’m planning to start with her in July after I have finished my reformer pilate sessions. This is more expensive and it isn’t as effective as yoga, at least for me. So I’m going to start practicing yoga again to do a proper comparison between yoga and reformer pilate. I shall give my verdict after 1 month of practicing yoga again. Beside it is still cheaper to pay for my private yoga sessions than my reformer pilate sessions.

Forgive and forget – Peter Wittendorp??

I will never forget this name or this person – Peter Wittendorp, because I had written so many posts about him and a handful of the posts were being read almost on a daily basis by people around the world. Hence his name will always appear under title or search in my blog. So like it or not I will be constantly reminded of him. It is a fact I have to live with the moment I made the decision to write about us openly. I don’t regret writing about him and our relationship because I was writing facts and I hate it when he accused me of something I didn’t do. Since the accusation is stuck, I might as well just made his accusation a fact rather than keep defending myself to a man who choose to hurl accusation at me and making me a scapegoat.

To be honest, occasionally I still feel pissed off when I remembered how he treated me toward the end of our relationship and the accusation he hurled at me. But I was able to subdue my negative feelings by not allowing my brain to replay the past.  Yes it happened and yes I was hurt deeply, but it was all in the past so I should look and move forward. As I said before, he will never be able to affect my emotions again.

I can’t admit that I have forgiven him because the truth is I haven’t. I had forgiven myself for loving, trusting and believing him and my own stupidity, but I haven’t forgive him for the lies he told me and the hurt and pain he caused me. I just learned to bury it deeply and control my emotions. I don’t know if I will ever be able to forgive him. I really don’t know. And even if I can, I don’t know when and I’m not in a hurry to forgive him. I will let it happens naturally and I will write about it when I’m able to forgive him finally.

Not forgiving him doesn’t mean I’m not letting go of the past. It just means I have managed to find a balance and keep my emotions in check. In the past I wrote that I had forgiven him, but I haven’t and I was forcing myself to forgive him because I didn’t know how to respect my own feelings. I wanted to forgive him because I wanted to continue to believe he wasn’t an asshole even though he was.

But now that I had learned to respect my own feelings, I don’t force my brain to forgive him especially when I still can’t find a good reason to forgive him. When he made the decision to hurt me and hurl baseless accusation at me, he should had known I wouldn’t forgive and forget so easily. Anyway, I think I had wrote enough about him tonight.

Goodnight world!

p.s. – Most read post about Peter Wittendorp – My feelings during the affair with Peter Wittendorp

Overemotional….

Overemotional….I was told numerous times I was being overemotional between the period 2014-2016 and looking back at that period now, I finally comprehended why I was being overemotional. It was because I was walking on egg shells most of the time and no one knew it except myself. I was constantly on an emotional roller coaster rides because of the hot and cold, pulled and pushed treatments I got from Peter Wittendorp. I wasn’t able to control my emotions as good as I’m able to do now because I wanted him to be in my life so much especially when he misled me to believe that we had a chance to be together after he told me about his failed marriage and how he hinted that he would be a free man soon. He also said he didn’t want to miss out on the chance to be with me and many others that made me think and hope that we could be together 1 day.

Not once had I asked him to divorce her to be with me. Not once had I asked him to leave her to be with me. Not once had I asked him directly did she cheated on him because in his own words (countless times, both in words and person) he admitted that she did and he gave her another chance because of their son. In the past, I rarely had doubts about what people told me unless they were caught lying to me before, otherwise I believed what they told me because I didn’t see a reason for people to lie to me especially when they didn’t get any benefits from me. Hence I had no reason to doubt him especially when I was falling head over heels for him.

I guessed I had liked him since the 1st time I met him and I buried my feelings for him because I knew we were never be together until 2014 he waltzed back into my life. In the beginning I was still holding back my feelings and even confessed to a handful of my best friends that I was just treating him as a part-time lover and nothing more, but in actual fact I was starting to fall for him, but I denied it even though my heart was feeling it and my actions confirmed it too.

I put him on a pedestal and went out of my ways (most of the times) to make him happy, minced my words and held back my feelings and emotions because I didn’t want him to think of me as not cool. I didn’t want him to think I was clingy and needy, but I ended up being like that when he gave me hot and cold, pulled and pushed treatments without telling me why. He would tell me that he needed space and MIA for a few days, 1 week and sometimes even a month or more without a reason. He just said he needed space to think and etc. And I dare not pushed him for an answer because he threatened before that if I kept pushing him he would walked out of my life and never returned. That instilled fear in me as I couldn’t bear not talking to him at all. It was so hard to miss him during those periods when he disappeared from radar and I had to control myself from reaching out because he made me promised I would gave him his space and I agreed to it so I did my best to keep my words. But it was really an emotional tortured for me.

I cried a lot during that 2 years period than my entire life added up. Haha. Now I can laughed about it, but back then I wasn’t able to do so. My emotions were up and down so frequently that I kept fighting to not lose myself. Of course there were times I failed and showed him this emotional side of me and I remembered the 1st time it happened he told me off and said I couldn’t do that because he wasn’t my life partner and therefore I shouldn’t unload it on him. He said I was overemotional!! I was and he was the caused of it, but yet he didn’t see it that way. He even told me to keep my emotions in check and not to unload it on him as he was experiencing issues at his home front too. I still remembered I apologised to him for pouring and sharing my emotions and feelings with him. Haha. Yup, that was how good he was to turn the situation around to make it seemed like my overemotional had nothing to do with his actions and words. He thought and believed that I was being overemotional because of my own reasons. He wasn’t the caused but in actual fact he was. And I couldn’t tell him that because he would be scared and stayed away from me and I didn’t want it to happen.

Being a woman I can say with certainty that most of the time we women become overemotional because of the treatment by the man we love. So next time when the woman in your life is being overemotional, don’t tell her off. Instead try to understand why,  if you love her. As for me, it will be hard for a man to make me overemotional again as I won’t allow a man actions to affect my emotions. It isn’t worth it and beside a man who truly loves me will never tell me I’m being overemotional!!

 

Selling my designers bags…

Yay….finally I had successfully sold 2 bags via Closet, a mobile app own by the Reebonz. I sold a large Chanel tote bag and a small Dior bag. I get 90% payout on the final selling price or they charge a minimum RM100 for selling price below RM1000. I sold the Dior small bag for RM800 so my payout is RM700. As for the Chanel, I sold it for RM5628 so my  payout is RM5144. I should be getting the money next week.

I was quite surprised to receive interest and offers for both bags as I haven’t have any luck in the past. I put those items for sale because I don’t want to use it anymore. The size of the Chanel bag is a big too big for me and also very heavy. It is really uncomfortable to carry it hence I sold it. The buyer she told me she loves the bag very much and thanked me for selling it to her. I’m happy to know that she loves the bag and enjoys using it.

Nowadays, I don’t like to hang on and keep things especially if I don’t use or like those things anymore. I prefer to declutter and get rid of things that no longer serve me so that I can free up space and also get back some cash. Anyway, I’m happy that I managed to sell successfully. Selling on Closet is easy and convenient plus the prices are much more reasonable compare to the main website Reebonz. Those prices listed on Reebonz are just plain crazy. Almost the same prices as Chanel boutique so pointless to buy from Reebonz.

I also gave some of my Prada bags to be sold by a reseller, but the prices they offered for my Prada bags were low. But because those were Prada bags I didn’t negotiate too much. They managed to sell 3-4 for me so not too bad. I still have 2 items with them and I need to check with them what are the status soon.

Anyway, I hope more of those unused and unloved bags of mine will be sold soon and I will buy again. Haha